Month: August 2018

I have been blessed many times with the virtue of patience. At times, I have been very slow to make decisions. When I have employed this strategy, the outcome has been more often than not positive. What I have realized is that it is good to let things come to me more organically when I allow it to happen.

I often think of the song, ‘Unanswered Prayers’ and how appropriate it is. When I think of all the things I really wanted, and all the things that ultimately turned out positive that were the opposite of what I had wanted, is truly amazing. If you wait and are patient and believe…Good things will happen. Maybe not what you wanted or in the way you wanted, but good things will happen. I cannot explain it, and I really don’t want to try. But, I know that at times the best things in life happen at the most unexpected time and in the most unexpected circumstances.

Stop praying or want something specific. It might not be in your best interest. Start seeking happiness. Your life will change, and you will ultimately receive the greatest gifts. I believe this is true and I am living a most wonderful experience that could have walked past me a year ago.

Ultimately, I think it is important to be patient and let things happen. Don’t try to force an outcome, but let it come to you. I am always amazed how things transpire when I allow things to happen.

There are times when I wonder why I do certain things. Today I had one of those moments. I was waiting with a small to start our morning run when a man pulled up and started talking to us. He quickly singled me out and started telling a wonderfully heart wrenching tale of personal troubles after which he asked for money. And then I gave him the money. Actually, I gave him more than he asked for.

As the day has progressed, I have considered why I gave him the money. Ultimately, I concluded that it just doesn’t matter that I gave him the money. What matters is that I believe I did a good deed. I helped someone in need. Yes, he could have been lying about his problem. But, really, does it matter? It doesn’t. And if he was then that is on him. As for me, I believe that when I chose to help someone, that choice will be returned to me tenfold. I may not know when or how, after all, I’m not keeping score here. It just seems to always work out for me.

That is what giving is really about. Giving should feel good, like you know you’re doing the right thing and that someone or something else will benefit from what you have done. Give it a try and see what happens to you. Give something away, be generous. The results might surprise you.

It is easy to make a decision to change something in life and often difficult to follow through with that decision. The difficulty in follow through comes not from the need to act, rather it is the ability to maintain the action that facilitates the desired changes. For example, if the decision is to lose 10 pounds, well that’s easy. Now you must act on the decision, so you change your diet to reduce carbs. Most often times not much happens immediately and there are no real results. It can take several weeks or even months to see the results of the change in diet. The same is true with exercise, it takes time to see the results of increased exercise.

 

The question is how to maintain the action over the long-term?  I believe there are three factors that must exist for change to be sustained for the long term. First, there must be a real desire to make the change. One must believe that the change is for the greater good. Second, the change must be for the individual. If it is not for the individual not change can be sustained for the long-term. Third is a psychological piece, there must be some small wins or evidence that there is progress. If there is no evidence of progress, then it is too easy to revert back to the old state.

 

One of the best ways to start a change that can be maintained over the long-term is to start small. Think of it in the smallest possible increment and act on that. By using the example to lose 10 pounds, which could be challenging, what would happen if I reframe the thought to simple stop eating candy. It might help the process and I don’t have to stop entirely, I just need to stop for today. If I can do it today, then tomorrow, then the next day and so on. I have begun to change. Then after that is comfortable and the new norm, I can add to the change. By not eating candy for a day, that is my win. The win must be recognized and rewarded by acknowledgement.

 

Making changes and sustaining them is really a process of decision, action, and recognition. Change takes time and needs to be nurtured. Be patient with changes.