Category: change

Deficit spending is when your spending is greater than your income. It is easy to spot. If you are in a deficit or have debt, then you are deficit spending. Credit cards make it easy to start to start deficit spending. A small purchase here, another over there and before you know it…yep, you are in a hole.

 

The question is how to avoid deficit spending when everyone uses credit cards. And in today’s online environment where credit cards are almost required.

 

The answer is to use cash. when the cash is gone, you stop spending. Simple right? Not so easy when it comes to online shopping because you cannot just send cash in. you have to use a credit card…or do you?

 

For online shopping the solution to avoid deficit spending is prepaid gift cards with a fixed limit.  This is similar to cash. For example, If you take $100 cash to the store wouldn’t that be the same using $100 gift card at an online retailer?

 

Give it a try. Gift cards are easy to purchase.

In the decision making process, we often consider all the negative things that can happen and forget to consider the positive. We consider or place a higher emphasis on the ‘risk’ associated with the decision. With the risk comes anxiety. Anxiety is the feeling we experience when thinking about the negative side of the equation. An example of ‘risk’ and ‘anxiety’ is the feelings and emotions associated with public speaking. Many people just don’t like speaking in front of a crowd. I get it! It’s risky. What if they don’t like what you have to say? Or what is they make fun of you? Or what is they post it on social media? The list goes on and on.  So, many of us avoid taking the chance.

However, what would happen in your life if you focused on the positive side of the equation. By that I mean get excited about the opportunity. Excitement and anxiety have very similar physical traits; increased heart rate, sweating, nervousness, rapid breathing, etc. Learning to focus on the positive instead of the negative is very important and very difficult. Often the negative is easy because it helps to stop you from trying.

I have been in many situations where I was not willing to take the risk for fear of rejection or ridicule. It is difficult to overcome the fears. But, when I turn those thought to a positive and start looking at the potential opportunities for acceptance and praise. I have a completely different perspective. I become excited about the opportunity.

It really is about how you think that makes the difference. Be positive, believe in yourself and give something new a try today.

“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”
― Gandhi

 

There is only one thing which a person really has control of. That thing is that person. Yes, you as an individual control your thoughts, your words, your actions, your habits, your values, and your destiny. Everything else is beyond your individual control. This is true for everyone. Based on this, I believe that if a person wants to change any aspect of their life, then all they need to do is focus on what they control…

 

Change always begins with your thoughts. You cannot make any change in life without first thinking about it. But maybe a more important piece than thinking about a change is to BELIEVE that it is possible. Once you honestly believe that you can do something or that something will happen then that thing will become your focus and you will begin to put things in place to make it happen. It is very possible that it will happen on a subconscious level and you will do things without realizing you are doing them. Your thought will naturally become your actions.

 

It is really a very simple concept. You can achieve great things which can change your life forever and all it takes is believing that it can happen. When I think back on the events of my life I can see how my thoughts and beliefs created the outcomes; positive and negative. When you change the way you think, your life will begin to transform. Be ready. It might take some time. It could be a slow process. However, the stronger your belief the quicker things will begin to change.

I have been blessed many times with the virtue of patience. At times, I have been very slow to make decisions. When I have employed this strategy, the outcome has been more often than not positive. What I have realized is that it is good to let things come to me more organically when I allow it to happen.

I often think of the song, ‘Unanswered Prayers’ and how appropriate it is. When I think of all the things I really wanted, and all the things that ultimately turned out positive that were the opposite of what I had wanted, is truly amazing. If you wait and are patient and believe…Good things will happen. Maybe not what you wanted or in the way you wanted, but good things will happen. I cannot explain it, and I really don’t want to try. But, I know that at times the best things in life happen at the most unexpected time and in the most unexpected circumstances.

Stop praying or want something specific. It might not be in your best interest. Start seeking happiness. Your life will change, and you will ultimately receive the greatest gifts. I believe this is true and I am living a most wonderful experience that could have walked past me a year ago.

Ultimately, I think it is important to be patient and let things happen. Don’t try to force an outcome, but let it come to you. I am always amazed how things transpire when I allow things to happen.

There are times when I wonder why I do certain things. Today I had one of those moments. I was waiting with a small to start our morning run when a man pulled up and started talking to us. He quickly singled me out and started telling a wonderfully heart wrenching tale of personal troubles after which he asked for money. And then I gave him the money. Actually, I gave him more than he asked for.

As the day has progressed, I have considered why I gave him the money. Ultimately, I concluded that it just doesn’t matter that I gave him the money. What matters is that I believe I did a good deed. I helped someone in need. Yes, he could have been lying about his problem. But, really, does it matter? It doesn’t. And if he was then that is on him. As for me, I believe that when I chose to help someone, that choice will be returned to me tenfold. I may not know when or how, after all, I’m not keeping score here. It just seems to always work out for me.

That is what giving is really about. Giving should feel good, like you know you’re doing the right thing and that someone or something else will benefit from what you have done. Give it a try and see what happens to you. Give something away, be generous. The results might surprise you.

It is easy to make a decision to change something in life and often difficult to follow through with that decision. The difficulty in follow through comes not from the need to act, rather it is the ability to maintain the action that facilitates the desired changes. For example, if the decision is to lose 10 pounds, well that’s easy. Now you must act on the decision, so you change your diet to reduce carbs. Most often times not much happens immediately and there are no real results. It can take several weeks or even months to see the results of the change in diet. The same is true with exercise, it takes time to see the results of increased exercise.

 

The question is how to maintain the action over the long-term?  I believe there are three factors that must exist for change to be sustained for the long term. First, there must be a real desire to make the change. One must believe that the change is for the greater good. Second, the change must be for the individual. If it is not for the individual not change can be sustained for the long-term. Third is a psychological piece, there must be some small wins or evidence that there is progress. If there is no evidence of progress, then it is too easy to revert back to the old state.

 

One of the best ways to start a change that can be maintained over the long-term is to start small. Think of it in the smallest possible increment and act on that. By using the example to lose 10 pounds, which could be challenging, what would happen if I reframe the thought to simple stop eating candy. It might help the process and I don’t have to stop entirely, I just need to stop for today. If I can do it today, then tomorrow, then the next day and so on. I have begun to change. Then after that is comfortable and the new norm, I can add to the change. By not eating candy for a day, that is my win. The win must be recognized and rewarded by acknowledgement.

 

Making changes and sustaining them is really a process of decision, action, and recognition. Change takes time and needs to be nurtured. Be patient with changes.

The saying is that one will achieve what one believes. I really believe this is true. So, if you regardless of what you believe, it is possible to achieve. One just needs to take the steps necessary.

 

There are many examples of how this works. One example, if you want to be debt free you need to first believe it is possible to be debt free. Once you believe, then you will take the necessary steps to achieve it. You might stop going out to dinner or you might get a second job to increase your income. Anything is possible once you believe it to be possible. That is truly the first step to success.

 

Another example is if you want to run a marathon. First you need to believe it is possible, then you will begin training and doing the things you need to do to make it happen. You may even hire a coach.

 

By the way, hiring a coach is not a bad idea. They provide a lot of good information and teach you how to do what it is you want to achieve. Coaches provide information on best practices and new theories. However, you have to do the work. For most of us there is no pill that will deliver immediate results. It always takes work and effort to achieve anything of importance.

 

I want you to consider what you would like to achieve by the end of the year and see if you can actually do it. I will caution you to make it realistic. Something like payoff the car or run a marathon or take a college course. Try it and see.

 

You can achieve what you believe.

It is finally time. Time to end a long-standing relationship. I have finally decided that the relationship has not been in my best interest. As a matter of fact, I think this relationship has been terrible. What relationship you ask? I am ending my relationship with FICO.

I have decided to let FICO go out of my life. I will no longer care about credit and credit scores. You see, I just don’t need to borrow money and pay large sums of interest to banks and lenders. I know that like in all breakups friends will be forced to choose sides and that is okay. If you choose to remain friends with FICO, it will be okay. All I ask is that you don’t ask me to keep inviting FICO into my life.

I have come to the realization that if I cannot pay cash for an item, vacation, whatever; I simply don’t need it. I can wait until I have the cash to make the purchase. And I am okay with that idea. I only needed FICO to get credit so that I could improve my FICO score. That makes no sense. It has been a terribly one-sided relationship which resulted in negative consequences for me. There was no need to keep paying today for yesterday’s purchases. And I won’t do it. So, there it is, goodbye FICO I wish you well and hope you have a good future somewhere else.

Now, I know this won’t be easy for me. I will need to change a lot of behaviors and possible develop new friends. But, in the long run I know it is the best decision and in my best interest. I have a few things which will linger in my life a keep FICO around and involved. Things like a car payment and a mortgage, which still need to be paid off. However, I will not let that keep me from moving forward into a better future without FICO.

Goodbye FICO it is time to part ways.